Meet my dog Dexter Doodle. Or just Dexter for short. He is a world class dumbass. But an adorable dumbass. I don’t know what possessed me to get a Pomeranian, because I am really more of a big dog person. I also don’t like yappers. Did I mention that Dexter is a dumbass and a yapper?
Dexter likes to think that he is the protector of the castle. I let him believe this even though he couldn’t defend a cardboard box. When I let him outside in the morning to pee, he runs the perimeter of the property, huffing and snorting like some raging bull, ready to commence said yapping if the slightest thing seems amiss. Did someone leave the hose laying on the lawn? It will be barked at as if it was a menacing serpant. Is there a car parked in the driveway that he doesn’t recognize? That will be barked at like it just jumped off of the pages of “Christine.” Like I said, he ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.
I am actually a bit envious of my dog’s vacuous skull. Sometimes I suspect not having two brain cells to rub together is the true key to happiness. Look at the Kardashians. They seem happy. One thing is certain, Dexter always has a positive outlook and an enthusiastic appreciation for life. Case in point – he wears the same stupid grin every waking moment.
I guess it could be worse. I could have a smart, depressed dog, lying around worrying about global warming and continued unrest in the Middle East. Dexter reminds me to breathe and…just…be…happy.