My Mullet Philosophy of Life

I think I finally figured out the secret to a rich and happy life.  It’s pretty simple really.  It’s all about knowing when to let your hair down.  The people I know who seem genuinely content  all seem to have this trait in common.

What I’m referring to is the ability to behave practically and responsibly when you need to, but also know when it’s time to throw caution – and sometimes your dignity and even checkbook – to the wind.  Let’s call it The Mullet Philosophy of Life – business in the front, party in the back.

NOT David, BTW

I love my fiance David because he totally gets this concept  – he is an entrepreneur and a great salesman.  He would also make a great politician because he is uniquely talented at pressing the flesh.  (For all you pervs out there – I meant networking, but I guess the phrase can be extrapolated to include other talents as well.)   He also knows how to pinch a penny – I have never seen someone quite as pleased with themselves as he is after a trip to Grocery Outlet or the Dollar Tree where he scored some amazing deal on bell peppers or laundry soap.

Yet despite his work ethic and thrifty nature,  the man knows how to have fun.  He is always up for an adventure, throws epic parties, and when in hair-down mode, can make merry as well as Bacchus himself. It’s all about striking that balance.

I don’t like to be around people who can’t let their hair down.  Frankly I don’t trust them.  If you want to avoid them as I do, I find that they usually fall into one of these categories:

The Fitness Freak – we all know these people.  They are the ones that hit the gym at 5 am every morning.  They will tell you as you’re sipping your mocha that you’d be better off drinking a protein shake.  They know what their BMI is and will make sure you do too, and even though they usually have an incredibly hard body, they are about as much fun as a visit to the proctologist.


Red-Faced Angry Guy –  these are the people who make life hell for anyone in the service industry. Vacations are spent bitching about the poor service, the delayed flight, or the crappy hotel.  Even if you spot them at a  party, they still seem pissed off.  They will most likely be gesticulating, cocktail in hand, while  in the midst of an angry rant about the government, the lack of parking, or a rival football team, while some poor bastard looks on wide-eyed, having been unwittingly sucked into his angry vortex.


The Church Lady – someone whose interpretation of their religious teachings has led them to believe that anything that brings you pleasure  must by definition be a sin.  Sex is a sin – unless it’s for procreation, and even then, they caution you not to enjoy yourself.  Relaxing is a sin because idle hands are the Devil’s workshop.  Alcohol is a sin – despite the fact that Jesus turned water into wine, only degenerates drink.   Dancing is a sin. because gyrating ones body in such a matter is unseemly and depraved.


The Tormented Artist – These people are unwilling to crack a smile because it might destroy their finely honed image of angst.  Loves pretending to read Nietzsche,  listening to Arcade Fire, smoking cigarettes, wearing black, standing in the rain, and discussing the pointlessness of life in coffee shops.


The Workaholic – although I greatly admire people who  have drive and ambition, I find that if it’s all work and no play, it truly does make Jack a dull boy.  If you miss your kid’s recital because you have an important deadline at work, you can’t even go to the bathroom without checking your email on your phone, you consider a 60 hour week week  slacking off, and you eat more meals at your desk than you do at home with your family, you need to get a grip. It’s okay to work hard as long as you don’t lose sight of why you do so. 


My recommendation?  Don’t pass up an opportunity to indulge yourself every once in awhile.  That might mean different things to different people.  It might mean escaping to a tropical beach somewhere, socializing with friends and family,  taking the time to learn how to do something new no matter your age, allowing yourself an entire day to lay in bed and binge watch Game of Thrones, or going out to dinner and ordering the steak and lobster combo because, dammit, you just want it,  Anything to remind yourself that these hair-down moments are what really matter the most, and without them, your days spent here on earth are merely killing time.

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